I used to joke about have two people living inside of me. One who is incredibly emotional and the other one who says "Get a grip!" Come to find out I wasn't too far off.
You see this identity took over my body and caused all sorts of issues. It seems to be the reason I am always tired, irritable, unable to focus, make decisions and easily overwhelmed. It was the part that became so needy it made ME sick. It is one of the reasons I hold back with friends because I feel that I am too needy. The hardest thing about all of this is that I thought this was something about me that I had to fix. Flaws that I had to overcome and yet never seem to be able too. If things got too stressful, I got worse. If things got better, I worried about things going bad again. I was never really happy. Here is the interesting part. I discovered when I was having a good day, the identity was not in control. I was.
When I am in control, I get things done. I smile a lot. I like to laugh, crack jokes, be silly. I am able to plan ahead. I also found out I can multi-task, something I thought I was incapable of.
So now I take the steps to take back my life and allow me to be in control. I am not sure what to expect but this is my journey of discovery of myself, so we shall see.
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