This is my Scripture study blog plus

This is my Scripture study blog plus, plus meaning whatever else I put in it. This is for my family. I love them and I want to share with them the love of the gospel I have and what I am learning. So to start out, I must make a confession.

My bishop asked my a question last Sunday that lead to this answer:
 I have been having a Spiritual midlife crisis. I began asking why bother with church, tithing, and everything else. It was too hard and too much work. I felt like that I had worked hard trying to do the right thing and I didn't like how my life had gone. Where were my rewards for doing a good job? Where were my blessings? At least the blessing I wanted. My son, Seth, when I asked, stated that I was a pessimist but just a little bit. Since that statement, I had become much more of one. I wasn't able to recognize the blessings that are in my life even though they were right in front of me. I was too busy looking at what was wrong or missing in my life. Anger and bitterness had become a part of who I was even thought the Lord kept blessing my life. It even came to a point that I chose to not renew my recommend. Mainly because I had chose not to pay tithing and felt that I could not. I had not lost my testimony, but it had weakened significantly. 

But something happened. I started praying. Really praying. One of the most important things that I had in my possession, my recommend, I had voluntarily let go. I love the temple. I love how I feel there. I love that I can leave the world behind and concentrate on what Heavenly Father wants me to know. It was my solace during the most difficult times of my life. It is was were I had found peace. More than ever I need it now. Instead of outsides sources causing chaos and trials, the chaos and trials were within. I repented, start paying tithing and eventually got the the courage to go to the bishop and ask how long I would have to wait before I could renew by recommend. With tears in my eyes (OK, I was bawling) and determination to never let it happen again, I left with my recommend in hand. 

So the next step is scripture study, not scripture reading, scripture study! The sister missionaries turned me to "Preach my Gospel", chapter 2 "How do I study Effectively and Prepare to Teach". So I begin my change of heart and this blog to share my journey, with those I love so much, my family! 

So here's the thing. Whenever I have prayed about anything such has work, my marriage, my family, my testimony, my etc. I have received one answer: Study the scriptures. And this scripture comes to mind. 

2 Nephi 32:3
 Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.

You think that this is a hint? Anyway, I have decided to try to study my scriptures, not just read. And part of studying is taking notes and this is where I will do it and share with my family what I have learned and how it is changing my life. I figure you should read it now instead of waiting till after I die and you read all the journals I have not written.  But mostly, I just want to still influence you, my posterity, in the only way left to me. By my example and my Testimony.

Book of Mormon Reading Day 1 and 2

I have been struggling with my faith. Not in a way that I want to leave the Church or anything like that. It is more about questioning why things have to be done or why it has to be done a certain way. Someone today talked about Faith and it being an action word and gave an analogy. It kind of weird but it works. Jesus stands ready to walk a tight rope and asks if we have faith that He can walk the tightrope. We of course say yes. He then blindfolds himself and ask again if we have faith He can walk the tightrope. We say yes. He then brings out a wheelbarrow and asks again if we have faith and again we say yes. He then ask if He were to fill with with bricks do we have faith that he can still walk on the tightrope and again we say yes. He then says "Get in" I have not been actively working on my Faith. I have not made it a priority and so I am going to do what I had done so many years ago when I realized I didn't have a testimony of the Gospel. Read the Book of Mormon

I found a 180 Book of Mormon challenge from the Perth Australia Rockingham Stake and I thought that not only should I read it and study what the challenge says to study but to also write about it. So here I go.

Day 1 & 2 was about reading  the Preface (Title Page), Introduction, Testimony of Three Witnesses, Testimony of Eight Witnesses, Testimony of the Prophet Joseph Smith and marking the the quote by Joseph Smith about the Book of Mormon was the most correct  book and the keystone of our religion and you can get nearer to God. It also include a quote from President Hinkley saying:

          “I would like to urge [everyone] to again read the Book of Mormon…There is nothing we
           could do of greater importance than to have fortified in our individual lives an unshakable
           conviction that Jesus is the Christ, the Living Son of the Living God. And, my brothers and
           sisters, that is the purpose of the coming forth of this remarkable and wonderful book.”

I need this unshakable conviction that Jesus is the Christ and that He and Heavenly Father love me and are aware of my desires, needs as well as my disappointments and sorrows. So many years ago as a teenager that relationship was the most important thing to me. Again, years later, it was important to me again as I struggled through great sorrow and pain. What I need is it to be important to me, not only during the bad days but the good ones too. Maybe by having this conviction again, I can have faith to keep doing the things that I am asked to do even when it is most difficult. I want to make the Gospel a priority in my life the way it once was so long ago. I have let life get in the way and feel overwhelmed of the things required of me and the sadness due to failure of not getting everything done because there just doesn't seem to be enough time. So like the empty pickle jar, I will begin filling my life with the important things first and then add in all the rest. It is supposed to fit and I need to have Faith that it will.