This is my Scripture study blog plus, plus meaning whatever else I put in it. This is for my family. I love them and I want to share with them the love of the gospel I have and what I am learning. So to start out, I must make a confession.
My bishop asked my a question last Sunday that lead to this answer:
I have been having a Spiritual midlife crisis. I began asking why bother with church, tithing, and everything else. It was too hard and too much work. I felt like that I had worked hard trying to do the right thing and I didn't like how my life had gone. Where were my rewards for doing a good job? Where were my blessings? At least the blessing I wanted. My son, Seth, when I asked, stated that I was a pessimist but just a little bit. Since that statement, I had become much more of one. I wasn't able to recognize the blessings that are in my life even though they were right in front of me. I was too busy looking at what was wrong or missing in my life. Anger and bitterness had become a part of who I was even thought the Lord kept blessing my life. It even came to a point that I chose to not renew my recommend. Mainly because I had chose not to pay tithing and felt that I could not. I had not lost my testimony, but it had weakened significantly.
But something happened. I started praying. Really praying. One of the most important things that I had in my possession, my recommend, I had voluntarily let go. I love the temple. I love how I feel there. I love that I can leave the world behind and concentrate on what Heavenly Father wants me to know. It was my solace during the most difficult times of my life. It is was were I had found peace. More than ever I need it now. Instead of outsides sources causing chaos and trials, the chaos and trials were within. I repented, start paying tithing and eventually got the the courage to go to the bishop and ask how long I would have to wait before I could renew by recommend. With tears in my eyes (OK, I was bawling) and determination to never let it happen again, I left with my recommend in hand.
So the next step is scripture study, not scripture reading, scripture study! The sister missionaries turned me to "Preach my Gospel", chapter 2 "How do I study Effectively and Prepare to Teach". So I begin my change of heart and this blog to share my journey, with those I love so much, my family!
So here's the thing. Whenever I have prayed about anything such has work, my marriage, my family, my testimony, my etc. I have received one answer: Study the scriptures. And this scripture comes to mind.
2 Nephi 32:3
Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.
You think that this is a hint? Anyway, I have decided to try to study my scriptures, not just read. And part of studying is taking notes and this is where I will do it and share with my family what I have learned and how it is changing my life. I figure you should read it now instead of waiting till after I die and you read all the journals I have not written. But mostly, I just want to still influence you, my posterity, in the only way left to me. By my example and my Testimony.
